Joseph hasnt won any polls yet but he will and when he does I'll update ya
Fan Fic 1 This was created from someone on another mailing list I did not create this so so if the writer wants it removed just email me
Dick came into the living room to find Sally and Tommy deeply involved in a
"What's going on?," he demanded. "Are you two plotting to overthrow me or
"No, of course not," Sally told him. "Tommy and I were just going to
continue our research into Earthling parental discipline techniques."
Dick looked shocked. "You mean they have specializations for that?! What
"Well, you see, Dick," Tommy began. "As an Earth adolescent, it's my job to
push the boundaries of the rules laid out for me by adults, and when I go too
far, I'm supposed to be punished. But, apparently each kid is different and
reacts differently, so parents have to try everything to determine which one is
the best deterrent."
"Can't they just throw them in prison with the other criminals or
something?" Dick asked.
"You can't do that," Sally interjected. "Adults and children aren't handled
the same and Human parents all have different ways of punishing their children.
That's what we're doing. Tommy and I are going through the list to see what
work's best with him. Besides, even we could, it'd be kind of hard for Tommy to
gather intelligence from inside a cell, wouldn't it?"
"I see your point," Dick stated. "And how far have you gotten?"
"Well," Sally answered. " We are proceeding in alphabetical order. So far
we've gone through grounding, lecturing, privilege revoking, and sending him to
"And have any of these had an effect on his behavior?," Dick inquired.
"No, not really," Sally stated with an air of irritation. "When I grounded
him, he just watched TV all day and snuck his girlfriend into his room."
"You knew about that?!," Tommy blurted out.
"Of course I knew!," Sally retorted. "I'm supposed to spy on you. I read it
in a book." Tommy dropped into the chair and buried his hands in his face.
"Oh God!," he cried out from between his hands. "How much did you see?"
"I didn't see anything. Once I determined that you had smuggled her in I
left. I'm not that curious about your adolescent rituals." She turned back to
Dick. "Anyway... to continue with my report. When I lectured him, he just
ignored me and walked out of the room. As far as privileges, he doesn't have
any to begin with; and sending him to his room was just like grounding him,
only it didn't last as long."
"So in other words," Dick interrupted. "So far its been a dismal failure."
"Well, yes," Sally said, sounding frustrated. "But don't worry, we still
have a couple to go. We're bound find something."
Dick nodded in an authoritative manner "Very well. You may carry on. I'm
going out to buy bunny slippers for Dr. Albright to replace the ones I
accidentally trapped and cooked for dinner." Then he slipped out of the room
and down the stairs.
"Alright, "Tommy said. "Now that the dufus is gone..."
"Hey!," Sally cut him off. "He's the High Commander, you're supposed to
treat him with respect." Tommy smiled and pointed at her, knowingly. "Oh! I
get it!," she said, with a laugh. "You're testing the limits again, right?"
"You got it!," Tommy replied with a grin. "So, what's next on the list?"
"Let's see," Sally said, looking down the list. "Lecturing, sent to room ...
here we go.... spanking."
"Spanking?" Tommy looked puzzled. "What's that?"
"Well," Sally continued to read. "According to those parenting books, a
spanking is when you repeatedly hit the child on his bottom with the palm of
Tommy thought for a moment. "And this works?"
"Well, some don't like it," Sally answered. "But others swear by it."
Tommy shrugged. "Well, let's get to it, then."
"Okay...," Sally began. "There are a few ways to do it. I can use my hand or
a flat tool like a hairbrush, or something. Hmm... I'll just use my hand. And
then I can leave you with the protection of your clothes or do it on your bare
"As a veteran intelligence officer," Tommy observed. "I have been trained to
resist pain. It would probably be more effective if my clothes were removed."
"I agree. But you don't need to take it all off, just your pants. Umm...
I'll sit here." Sally grabbed Tommy by his shirt collar and pulled him over to
her before sitting down in the chair. She unzipped his jeans and pulled them
down to his ankles, then did the same with his underpants. "You wear briefs?!"
"Yes! I wear briefs!," Tommy exclaimed.
"But nobody wears briefs."
"For your information," Tommy stated. "I find boxers to be too....breezy."
"Too breezy? Too breezy?"
"Look," Tommy said, exasperated. "Are you going to spank me, or not?!"
"All right, all right," Sally said, defensively. "Don't be so touchy."
"It's just that I... whoa!" Tommy was cut off by Sally's pulling him down
across her lap. "Hey! What's this?"
"Relax," Sally assured him. "I'm supposed to put you in this position. It
allows me to hold you down while I'm spanking you in case you try to escape."
"I'm not going to try to escape," Tommy laughed.
"Well, just the same, I want to do it by the book," Sally replied. She
rested her elbows on Tommy's back as she perused her notes.
"Do you mind?!," Tommy yelled. "Your arm is in my spine!"
"Oh! Sorry." Sally put her notes down. "Okay, I'll just lift up your shirt
here. You know, you have a really cute little tush, there." She gently pinched
"Alright!," Tommy exclaimed. "That's it! I'm outta here!" He tried to get up
but Sally firmly held him down.
"Hey!," she scolded. "You said you weren't going to try to escape!"
"That was before you started to openly admire my posterior!"
"Okay, okay. Don't be so sensitive," Sally chided. "Alright, I'm going to
spank you now, and I don't think its coming too soon."
Sally raised her hand and started smacking Tommy's bottom. Whap! Whap! Whap!
"Ow! Ow! Ow! Hey, that hurts!," Tommy exclaimed.
"Duh!," Sally retorted. "I think that's the purpose of it. Now hold still."
"I think that's enough for now, Sally," Tommy suggested.
"What?," Sally replied. "Are you kidding. I've barely started. I'm supposed
to give you at least a dozen of these."
"At least a dozen?! But...Ow!," Tommy was cut off as Sally resumed the
spanking. Whap! Whap! Whap! Whap! Whap! Whap! Whap! Whap! Whap! Whap! Whap!
After she finished, Sally looked over Tommy's bottom, which was now a bright
"Well?," she asked. "Did it have an effect on you?"
Tommy drew a deep breath. His voice wavered a bit. "Umm... yes. I'd say it
had a definite effect."
"How much of an effect? More than the other punishments?"
"Well...," Tommy gasped a few times. "You know that leaking Earthlings do
"You mean crying?," Sally answered.
"Yes! That!," Tommy said. "I think I'm going to do that."
"No. Really?!," Sally asked, shocked. "It couldn't have been that bad."
"I think it was...," Tommy retorted.
"Look, Tommy," Sally commanded in a firm tone. "You are a trained
intelligence officer. You are not going to cry."
Tommy started to sob, loudly. "Oh, yes I am."
"No, you're not! Tommy!...."
"Waaahhh! (sob) (sob) Waahhh!"
"Tommy!" Sally was at a loss. "Tommy! I order you to stop crying!"
"Waaah! I can't!," he replied through his tears. "Waaahh!"
"Tommy! I want you to stop leaking this instant!" Sally began spanking his
bottom again. Whap! Whap! Whap!
"That's not (sob) the way to get me to stop (sob) crying!," Tommy informed
her. Sally gave up and just held him down, resting her chin in her hand, and
waited for Tommy to stop crying, which he did after a couple minutes.
"Are you done yet?," she asked, irritated.
Tommy sniffed back a tear. "Yes. I think I am."
"Well," Sally said with deep breath. "That got more of a reaction than I
"I reacted more than I thought I would, too." Tommy paused. "Can I get up,
"You know...," Sally thought aloud. "I think this spanking thing may be it."
"NO!...No!," Tommy stated, adamantly. "Definitely not! Let's move on, shall
"No, now wait a minute," Sally told him. "It says that you're supposed to
cry, and if a spanking has that strong an effect on you, then I'd say we've hit
the jackpot." Sally smiled confidently at Tommy. "I mean none of the other
punishments had any effect at all."
"Wait a minute, now, Sally," Tommy said, in a slightly pleading tone. "I'm
not really comfortable with this spanking thing. And can you let me up now?"
"You're not supposed to be comfortable with it," Sally stated, wryly.
"You're the kid! You're the one being punished."
"Nope!, That's it!" Sally crossed her hands in front of her to finalize her
declaration. "When the High Commander comes home I will inform him of our
success in finding an effective punishment for you."
"But, Sally...," Tommy whined.
"Do you want another spanking?," Sally asked him.
"No," Tommy replied, weakly.
"Then I don't want to hear it." She picked him up and placed him on his
feet. Tommy pulled his pants up, walked over to a chair and sat down. He
immediately bolted up again.
"What's the matter?," Sally asked.
Tommy stared at her for a moment. "It really hurts to sit."
"That makes sense," Sally said, matter-of-factly, and snorted a quick laugh.
"After all, your sitting part and your spanking part are the same."
"Thank you so much for that brilliant bit of deduction," Tommy told her,
sarcastically. "Now, if its not too much trouble, could you toss me that
A short while later, Dick returned from his errands.
"I can't believe it," he said, forlornly. "All those stores and not one had
bunny slippers in that exquisite lavender shade that Mary loves." His gaze then
fell upon Tommy, who was sulking in his chair under a large cushion. His face
was still red and tear-streaked..
"What'd wrong with Tommy?," he asked looking squarely into the boy's face.
"Nothing," Sally replied.
"But he looks so sad," Dick replied. he cradled Tommy head in his hands and
showed it to Sally. "Look at his little sad puppy-face." He stared closely.
"Has he been leaking?"
Sally stood up and walked proudly over. "Yeah. It's from the spanking I gave
him. He's supposed to be like that."
"The spanking?," Dick asked, incredulously. "You mean that bottom-whacking
thing Earthlings do? Why did you do that?"
"Its was part of that punishment research me and Tommy were doing."
"And it worked?," Dick asked.
Sally gently punched Dick in the shoulder. "Like a charm. He hasn't given me
a bit of trouble since."
"Really?," Dick said with raised eyebrows.
"No!," Tommy interjected, pointing his finger at both of them. "It doesn't
work! We still have a few other options to try out. Right, Sally?"
"Why?," she snorted. "We've found what works."
"No, we haven't," Tommy insisted.
Sally walked over to him and grabbed his arm. "Do you want me to show Dick
how well it works?"
Tommy fidgeted for a moment. "No. I don't think that'll be necessary."
"You see," she said to Dick, gesturing with raised palms. "All I have to do
is just imply that I'm going to spank him and he gets right back in line."
"Incredible!," Dick exclaimed. "Tommy, do something ... you know.... do
Tommy looked confused. "What?!" He looked around helplessly. "Like what?"
"Hey, Tommy," Sally suggested. "Why don't you call Dick a dufus, again."
Tommy shot back a look that could kill.
"You called me a dufus?!," Dick roared. He turned to Sally. "Sally, I want
you to spank him!"
"No! Wait!," Tommy yelled. "I'm sorry!. I'll never call you a dufus again!"
"Wow!," Dick replied. "It does work!" He saluted Sally. "Most impressive
"Thanks, Dick. Technically, though," she informed him. "That's what he got
spanked for in the first place. You know... calling you a dufus."
"That's right!," Tommy blurted. "That's what it was for, and like I said,
I'll never do it again."
"I see," Dick said. "Very well, I'll let it go this time." Tommy let out a
heavy sigh of relief.
"Do you want me to show you how to do it?," Sally asked Dick.
"No, no," he replied. "I'll leave such details to you. You always wanted
more authority so," he gestured grandly." Here it is."
"Yes sir!" Sally saluted.
"Carry on, then, " Dick said before leaving the room.
After Dick had left, Sally sauntered over to Tommy. "Well, well, well," she
said, grinning triumphantly. "Now that I'm in charge, things are going to be a
little different around here." She pointed her finger at Tommy while walking
past him to the kitchen. "And if you don't like it, then you'd better plan on
making that cushion a permanent part of your butt, buddy."
Tommy watched her exit the room, stared blankly forward for a few seconds,
then dropped his head and began to moan mournfully.